So…I have no sense of direction. At. All. Case in point: I used 2 GPS’s today and I still got lost. Probably because one was saying go this way while the other one was saying go that way!
Let me back up for a minute though and tell you where I was headed and why I used 2 GPS units. I won a ticket to a running retreat in Madison, which is about 2 hours north of me (no, I didn’t know this until my husband told me- no sense of direction, remember?). And I had some credit on a daily deal site and found a hotel in Madison that I would get for the price of tax. So I booked the hotel. At this point, it wasn’t decided if my husband and daughter were coming or not- he wanted to see if he could find something fun to do in Madison with her while I was at the retreat. Eventually he decided it probably wouldn’t work since my retreat goes until 4pm and he would have to check out of the hotel and keep her entertained for a long period of time, followed by a two hour drive. So the plan was for me to go alone, unless I could convince a friend to come too. None of them were available- so instead, I have a peacefully quiet night alone. In a hotel. By myself. Did I mention I like to watch Criminal Minds?
Well, the hotel is not a big name one but I figured the address on the daily deal certificate would get me here. So I typed it into my Google Maps App before leaving the house. It recognized it as an address, so I figured I was good to go. I then got in the car and tried to type it into my GPS unit and it didn’t recognize it. So I tried searching by name. Bingo! There it was.
So I set off getting on the highway- totally bummed that it took me to a different entrance than the one with the Starbucks- and was following both units since they had me going the same way. It said I would get to my destination in 1:45. The first hour of my ride was just peaceful and quiet with some music. Well, crappy music anyways. My husbands car has satelite radio, and I drive his car so infrequently that I don’t have stations set for myself. So I usually just go with the Pop category. Only I didn’t know the songs. And I wanted to sing. So I scrolled through and stayed on Radio Disney for awhile and sang along to a few songs I know there. Then I got bored with that and wanted to check out the Country, only it was all slow and not anything I knew. Then I realized I could plug my phone in and listen to the music I have on there. So I did. Only somehow I deleted Taylor Swift off my phone!!!! What the heck in the world? (As my daughter would say). How did I do that? I don’t know the rest of the music enough to sing along so that was a bummer.
As I got closer, I noticed that the GPS units were telling me different things. I decided to go with my phone since the actual address was put in that unit. But then I saw a sign on the highway with the logo for my hotel. So I went that way. Even though neither GPS was telling me to go that way. There was also a McDonald’s that way and I had to pee so bad my eyes hurt. Only when I got off that highway, I was actually still on a highway and there was no McDonald’s! But my phone said I would be there in 4 minutes, so I thought I could stand to wait. Only, wait! Is that the entrance to the hotel? But the phone said to make a U-turn, not a turn! Ok, well I’ll just go into the entrance up here. Only there was no entrance up there and my phone is now saying I have another 14 minutes to get back to that place!!!
So I gave up on my phone and thought maybe if I follow the GPS it will take me there another way. It was a few weird turns, but eventually I ended up in front of a hotel with this name. It looked pretty creepy. Ok, very creepy. So I went into the office that was very small and smelled like a few nasty things mixed together and this is what happened:
Me: I have a reservation
Woman: I only have 4 reservations tonight and they are all checked in
Me: I called and used this certificate
Woman: Oh this is the wrong hotel. You need the other one
Me: There are two hotels with the same name in this city?
Woman: Yes, do you know where Walmart is?
Me: No, I don’t live in this town
Woman: Well…it’s that way (pointing)
Me: Ok, I’ll find it
So I left, not having relieved my bladder because I’m pretty sure there were none in there, lol. I plugged my phone in because it was almost dead and reset it to the address I originally put in. I figured I would find it this time because I knew my mistake. It was just 14 minutes away. I can make it, wait there’s a McDonald’s…only its on the other side of the highway. Crap!
I finally made it, to this hotel on a dead end road. Creepy. Then she hands me an actual key. Like a house key. Creepy. Then she tells me my room is in the back of the hotel on the first floor. Creepy. Then I walk to my room and realize the beds are on actual frames. Creepy. So I did what any sane person would do. I turned the flashlight on on my phone and checked under them. I have no idea what I would do if I found a psycho under one, but I still checked, just like I check my daughters closet EVERY single night before I go to bed. Then I checked the shower and then I put my stuff down and actually got to pee!
I figured my husband would want to know I was safe, so I called him. Told him about the creepiness and he asked me if I checked the walls for holes where they could have cameras in to be watching me. Then he told me to enjoy my quiet and my bed bugs. I assured him I would bring some home for him. 🙂
For some reason, because I was creeped out, I decided I wasn’t going to drink the water from the bathroom faucet. So I walked down to the vending machine to get some water. And I brought my keys too, just in case I need to make a run for it from the psycho. Once back to my room and all 3 locks engaged, I then checked the seal on the water bottle and checked over my candy bar for holes (you know, in case someone injected something in there). All seemed well, so I sat down to have my snack and tell my friends about my adventure so far. After I checked under the beds again of course. And the shower. I’m considering sleeping in my running shoes with my keys in my hand…just in case…