Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I thought there are a few things you should know before you die.  I’m not sure if you are going to die soon, the doctors don’t know yet.  But you need to know these things whether you are going to die tomorrow, or years from now.

1. You have some amazing kids. You may not realize it. But they are amazing. I mean, I’m about to run a half marathon and I think that is amazing!  When I thought you had died, I was mad that I would miss my race to come to your funeral.  Then I started thinking about how there is one happening in Buffalo on the same day, and maybe they would let me run it if I was there for a funeral, so all my hard work would not be for nothing.  That makes me sad.

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2. You have even more amazing grandkids.  You really should get to know them.  You have 5 here on earth, and I am going to tell you some things about my daughter, because you’ve only seen her twice in her whole life.  She is now 4 years old.  You are missing out.

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This is the one and only time you had your picture taken with her.  She was 3 months old.  She had no idea who you were or what was going on.  She still doesn’t know who you are, and I’m not sure what to tell her about you yet.

She is an amazing swimmer. You would be so proud of her.  She amazes people all the time with her skills!  I don’t know where she got it from.  It seems like a natural thing that is just getting better and better.

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She is going to be running her first race on Wednesday night.  And she is excited.  She is a great runner, and she will make me so proud.

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She has the spunkiest attitude you can imagine.  She is strong willed and she knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to tell you what she wants!

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She is fearless, and not afraid to try anything

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There are so many things I could tell you about her. She is an amazing little girl.  And she has been blessed with a great set of grandparents from her father, and a wonderful grandmother from me, but sadly, she doesn’t get to know the other grandpa who is alive.

3. The last thing I want to tell you (well, there are a lot of things, but this is it for now), is that my feet are not as ugly as you told me.  My biggest, strongest memory of you, is when you told me that I had the ugliest feet in the entire world.  And that was a cruel thing to say, and it’s taken me a long time to realize you were just ugly on the inside, and it was coming out of you onto me.

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I’ve prayed for you so many times Dad.  That you would wake up one day and realize that alcohol was ruining your life and your chances of knowing your children.  I only hope this is your wake up call and that you survive this.  I hope the doctors can heal you and that you come out of the hospital wanting to make a change.

And I hope I can forgive you as much as I thought I had. We get one chance at life.  And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life mad at you.  I want you to experience the joy of being a grandfather, and a father.  So I will pray for you once again. That you come out of this with a new look on life.  And that we can build a relationship that we’ve never had. Because, even though I think you are a big jerk right now, you are my father, and I do love you.  And I will forgive you.

Love,

Your second daughter

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One thought on “Dear Dad

  1. Kimberly says:

    I love that you wrote this to him. He may never be able to read it but we all know how you feel. You move with such grace and love with all our heart. In return people can only try to match up to what you give them. Keep praying for him and so will I. Thank you for sharing my friend!

    Like

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