Tough decisions are tough

Tough decisions are tough.  They are.  And it sucks.  Big time.

I have 2 suitcases packed.  2 backpacks ready.  Snacks and entertainment all ready for a flight.  That I just cancelled.  It sucks.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful I can cancel a flight with no penalties (thanks Southwest!), but I hate that I had to cancel it.  We were headed to visit my family before I go back to work in a few weeks.  I managed to find an affordable flight for me and the girls, and I just cancelled it.

A few days ago I started feeling really achy.  I attributed it to the fact that I have a tiny baby to take care of, plus a 5 year old.  And the baby was going through a growth spurt, which means excessive nursing, which is excessively tiring.  And then my husband took the 5 year old out of town for the weekend.  I was getting some great rest with the baby.  Until Sunday.

I was ok for the morning.  Still achy, but otherwise ok.  And then in the afternoon I started feeling chilled.  I checked my temperature and it was 102.8.  Yikes!  I am not a fever person.  I can’t remember the last time I had a fever!  In fact, usually at the doctors office, when they take my temperature, it’s below the “average”.  I called my doctors office and they had the doctor call me back.  He didn’t seem as alarmed as I was!  It’s just a fever, right?

So I went to the doctor this morning and confirmed it’s a sinus/ear infection and was given medications.  I do not like taking antibiotics, but at this point, I feel like I didn’t have much of a choice.  The doctor did warn me that it would be painful to fly.  My eardrum could burst with the pressure.  So he gave me a nasal spray to use.

I went to the chiropractor and she tried to help my sinuses.  And my ears.  And it gave me some relief.

So I went home, and I called the Infant Risk hotline that can give you information on medicine and how it affects the baby if you are breastfeeding.  The nasal spray is an L2, (L1 is the safest, L5 is not safe), and she suggested I use it after a feeding, so that she doesn’t nurse again for a few hours.  Well, obviously, she doesn’t know my baby, lol!  We have been nursing almost every hour for a few days, and I can’t guarantee she will stop.  Plus this nasal spray could cause a dip in my supply.  As could antihistamines.

Have you ever flown with a sinus infection?  It feels like your brain is bursting inside your head.  It’s not pleasant.  And neither is flying with children sometimes.  You never know how they will react.  And Evelyn has not been on a plane yet, so I had no idea how she would react.

Anyways, I went on with my day, packing and getting ready.  I was trying to psych myself up for this trip.  But then when it came time to get Evelyn ready for bed, I started feeling pain again.  My ear is throbbing.  My whole left side of my head is throbbing. And it will be worse on the plane.  For take off and landing.  When I will be responsible for holding a tiny baby and keeping her safe.  And reassuring the 5 year old that if she just keeps chewing her gum, her ears will pop….so I cancelled our flights.  I’m so sad about it.  I want to go visit my family so bad!  Annabelle wants to visit her cousins and everyone wants to meet Evelyn.  But I just can’t risk it.  It sucks.

And it’s going to suck to break it to Annabelle in the morning that we aren’t going.

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Hopefully we can find another toad tomorrow- that might cheer her up for a few minutes.

Have you ever had to make a decision like this?

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